あめがふって ザー ザー
あめがふって ザー ザー
おとのことおんなのこは
がっこうから うちまで
いっしょに いきます。
すいてきが ピチャ ピチャ
くつガ ピシャ ピシャ
かぜガ サー サー
おとのことおんなのこは
木のしたにいます
すいてきが ピチャ ピチャ
ハートビートが ドキドキ
ハートビートが ドクンドクン
キスをします
あめがふって サー サー
あめがふって サー サー
おとのことおんなのこは
かえいますかえいますまどのそとに
あめがふって バ バ
あめがふって バ バ
8 comments:
Elaine-san,
I like the rhythm in your poem (:
I think that your katakana made the poem come "alive". I could almost hear the sounds of rain, etc as I was reading it.
In my poem, I've used カタカナ for roughly the same two reasons:
1) Personification: By using カタカナ to represent sounds that nature (wind, rain, etc) and the children make, the poem becomes more lively -- as if the sounds were alive.
2) Emphasis: By using カタカナto represent the sounds, emphasis is placed on the sound rather than the subject when it is read.
イラインさんのカタカナのつかいかたがすきです！I thought the way that you used personification really brought the elements of the poem to life.
I already commented before but:
カタカナのusageはとてもいいです！Again, I really liked the onomatopoeia in your poem. Also, I thought that it was interesting that the rain began to drop harder after the boy and the girl kissed; it's like it symbolizes how their emotions also became stronger.
Your use of かたかな makes your poem so euphonious! It is like おんがく！ Well done.
It is creative when you use ザー ザー to imitate sounds. おもしろいですね！
エレンさんのポエムはうたですよ！Someone has to write a melody for this. Really great use of katakana.
A lot of rhythm, very expressive!
だいすくです！
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